The First Date

Very appealing title right ?

Ok, now let me clarify something straight-away even at the risk of diluting your interest. It was not MY first date :) ....but ...its still an interesting story if you bear with me for a while :)

The venue is Nandini Restaurant . The players are Mr V and Ms P.

V is one of my friends from Pre-Uni days while P is an absolutely gorgeous,fair skinned, angelic ...bla bla .. girl on whom he has a BIG BIG crush.

Now he has been hitting on her for months and the only progress to show for is that two weeks back, for the first time she accepted something he offered her - no..it wasn't a proposal or anything ... he offered her a bloody Caramilk chocolate. Puff ! When he had tried to do the same thing about 2 months back she said "Why?" and he never answered and she never took that chocolate....

Fast forward - today. Somehow I have got news of V going on a date tonight. Together with my insider I have arrived at the scene about 1 hour in advance waiting to see the action unfold myself. First of all I am not 100% convinced that V has actually got a date - and if so I am damn sure its not with P. But I am highly intrigued by the fact that a table has been reserved for two people at Nandini for today evening. So we have positioned ourselves three tables behind and 2 rows across - a vantage position.

So we wait, and wait and wait. First we order coffee. 15min later no sign of either V or P so we order Gobi Manchuri. Another 15 min later and still no sign of them. Leaving our vantage point would be a disaster so we order some juice and sip on it for eternity. The bearer takes the cue and asks us if we are waiting for someone and I say "Yes". Furthermore I ask him to confirm if the table we are interested in is really reserved. Affirmative. Hmm.. interesting. But its getting increasingly hard to kill time. Its about 1 hour since we came and all we have done is sipped coffee, munched gobis and licked some juice. Nobody has spoken to each other. The air of anticipation is so thick ...you can cut it with a knife. And then ... it happens.

V walks in - amazingly in a tight knit Charagh-din style designer shirt and worn out jeans. WOW ! For a "formals onleee" guy - this is quite a departure. None of us took our eyes off him but all of us were waiting to see which girl - if at all it was a girl - was going to accompany him ....BINGO ...its P !!!! Absolutely shocking. Despite all the evidence pointing to this, I was still not convinced that this was going to happen. Finally Insider #1 speaks for the first time

"See I told you man ...now the fun begins" . Indeed.


P is drop dead gorgeous. I have no idea what you people call this dress - Salwar Kameez/ Chudi dhar ...whatever. Its ravishing red and she looks uber-hot in that. And she is completely at ease with her dress,make-up and the ambient - despite being fully aware that every pair of eyes in the hall is scanning her from top to bottom. In stark contrast, Mr V is already showing signs of nervousness - beads of sweat lining his forehead - inside an AC room :)

Now they are here for dinner ok ? And at a restaurant like Nandini, depending on what you order, Veg/non-veg the bill could range from anywhere between 250-350plus for two people. Its not a lot of money right ? Right.

Now the waiter comes to our table and asks us what more we want - we decide to dig into our dinner too and order some stuff that will outlast whatever our "couple" will order. And the drama begins to unfold. First of all our couple orders tomato soup and Gobi Manchuri. We can see it in V's eyes - he is absolutely petrified. He is not smiling, he is not looking P in the eyes .. he is just fiddling around with his mobile phone trying to calm himself down.

Prank #1 :

Insider #1 gives him a missed call. This was a big relief to V who wanted to somehow break the ice. He smiles at P and says something about the phone (we are not close enough to hear them speak) then calls back insider #1. Ofc insider #1 won't pickup and the phone is in silent mode. After not getting an answer V hangs up. 10 mins pass , the soup and the manchuri are gone. They are looking up the menu card - again - to order something sizable. And looks like they have settled on some chicken dishes. Great!

Prank #2 :

At this point let me reveal that insider #1 is none other than V's own kid brother :) He is the real source of information. I send a message to V -

"Dude .. where the hell are you ? I have been shouting outside your house for last 10min".

I observe V as he reads the msg - his face contorts but he doesn't show any other emotion and I get a terse reply -

"I am out with friends, will be late - cya later".

ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL. We can't bear our laughter. To compound his misery I send another message -

" Dude its urgent man. I need to talk to you. Can you call me ?"

He reads the message but decides to ignore it. Perfect.


Now, for the first time he decides he should speak to P. Amazingly P has not spoken a word yet - she is busy gulping down - chicken .... Before you know it they are both smiles and seem to have broken the ice between them. Soon they are chatting like they know each other for 5000 years. Time to activate the next phase.

I send him another message - " dude its really urgent. Pls call back ASAP"

Now being a good friend, V decides to call and excuses himself from the table (for obvious reasons) and goes out to make a call. Ofc when he calls me - I dont pick it up. He comes back inside and sends me a message with a big frown on his face -

" WTF are you doing ? I called you twice ! "

I dont reply. And soon he forgets about it. Its been an hour now since they have been in the restaurant. And we are nearing the climax. When V went out to make a call, insider #2 made a pass at their table and gathered enough info to give us a rough estimate that they had ordered at least 400 rupees worth of food. Brilliant.

Now,

Prank #3

insider #1 who is V's brother sends him a message - " Bro I needed some money so I took all the cash from your purse - going out with friends - will be late, cya later".

ROTFLMAO ROTFLMAO. Till now a happy and cherubic V who seemed to be on the top of this world has no idea that his purse is empty. Totally empty. His bro has emptied his purse of everything - cash, ATM card, Credit Card everything :) Its all in our hands now...and the fun and games have started.

We watch with bated breath as V reads the msg - he always reads any msg no matter where he is, no matter what he doing - except in the loo and the bathroom.

His smile freezes and the first sign of tension show up as a line of sweat beads on his forehead. Sitting a few tables across we are in splits. He might have even overheard us but then he wouldn't know it was us laughing at him. But to his credit he remains composed and continues to chat with P. Now they are almost done with dinner and they are waiting for the bill. P is still gnawing on some ...chicken I guess ..when the bearer asks them if they would like the bill. V nods in confirmation. Just then he gets another message on his mobile -

" Bro the ATM card is not working so I took the credit card just as backup".

Now V is shell shocked. He has zero cash, and he has no credit card. And ...the ATM card is not working. He loses his composure and is lost in his own world. This is his first date...with P - its unbelievable that just when he thought that everything he ever wanted was happening to him, this kind of a disaster strikes. P seems to ask him what is wrong ...he says he needs to make a call and steps out to make a call.

First he calls his Bro - no answer. Then sends a msg - no reply. Then he calls me - no reply.

Its been 10 min that he has been outside in the lobby - P is alone at the table - looking a bit confused and the bill has arrived. He opens his purse and sure enough there is nothing in it - no cash,no ATM card, no Credit Card. He paces the lobby like a caged tiger sweating profusely - his tight knit shirt not helping the cause. In between he manages a smile at P who is clearly not amused. Finally I send him a reply -

" WTF do you want ? I am not free ..."

I get a reply - " Dude its urgent man. Pls come near Nandini in 10min. BIG trouble".

I almost fall off my chair when I read it. We are laughing like madmen. Our bearer is fed up and says there are a lot of people waiting downstairs so we should make a move if we are done. Good idea. We settle the bill and take the lift while V is busy on the porch trying to make calls.

Of course we dont want to spoil P's day out so there had to be an end to all this drama. So ten mins later I arrive at the front entry to Nandini and meet V - he says he needs cash urgently and of course I help him out but dont ask him anything more and just tell him that I am going to catch him later. ..and I leave - just like that. Insiders#1 and #2 monitor the progress - V goes back in - apologises to P and the bearer for the delay and settles the bill and they both leave the hotel like a pair of happily chirping love birds.

The three of us in the meanwhile can't stop our laughter. I was laughing so hard that I had to stop my bike near the footpath, get off it and calm down. Insider #2 has severe stomach pain even now. People on the road thought we are nuts. And I have edited this post a zillions times to correct the typos I made as I try to control my laughter. And here is the best part-

Mr V wont know all this was planned until he reads my blog - and I know he does read it :)

What a wonderful first date :)